Love Junkie Shame

August 10, 2010 § 2 Comments

Many people in my intimate circle have been revealing their love junkie shame. I want to tell them:

  • It is not ridiculous to love someone’s smile, spirit and general loveliness. It is okay to fall in love with other people. It is also okay to let them go.
  • Wanting to be natural with someone else is natural. Counting the hours since the last visit, phone call, text message, email, comment on Facebook status, in some form or another, is something we all do. If we are thoughtful people, we will have a broad scope of love for others. We will continue to think about other people, whether happily coupled or not. The important thing is whether we are happy when partnered with ourselves.
  • The desire to build a shrine to someone that doesn’t exist – your ideal, fantasy, daydream lover – is wonderful. And maybe that someone-that-doesn’t-exist is you in the future, the you in the not-so-distant-future. It’s your desire that informs you of your deepest longing.

It is my belief that we are all love junkies. The more we try to avoid it, the more we will realize our sameness. There is no need to feel shame.


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§ 2 Responses to Love Junkie Shame

  • otter. says:

    thank you for this, trout.
    the happiest i feel is when i am care bear stare-ing love out to the people around me.
    and sometimes i feel exposed or vulnerable or silly… and i put my love-stare away, hide it under the fluffy gold daisies on my tummy…
    but today i am going to stare.
    so thanks.

    • Stella Trout says:

      I’m so glad, Otter. The world is highly improved by your love stare.
      I have been considering human vulnerability quite a bit lately. It’s a life long challenge to feel comfortable in your own home while Vulnerable sits in your favourite chair and watches you.

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